A woman’s sexuality is directly related to her self-esteem. Why do some fly around the city with a gleam in their eyes, while others sadly recall the anecdote that “New Year’s more often” or speak scornfully about carnal pleasures? Of course, you can find the dependence of bed success on temperament, age, and social status. And yet this is not the most important thing. In the matter of the quantity and quality of sex, self-esteem rules the ball.
No pleasure in sex
There are women who are not deprived of intimate contact, but for some reason, all this activity does not bring them any special pleasure. First, men quickly replace one another. Secondly, everything turns out somehow not as dreamed. No flight. Somehow too prosaically … “Maybe the next one will be completely different?” the girl hopes. And every time he is disappointed: “Probably, something is wrong with me, I don’t seriously light anyone …”
Causes. When you feel “not very” to yourself and in your heart, you suspect that something is “not right” with you, that is, you are toiling with low self-esteem, it is quite possible to start agreeing to any kind of contact just because …
- … you are afraid that you will not be able to find anyone better.
- … you are afraid that if you do not rush to bed with him, he will consider you frigid.
- … you hope that in this way you will interest him more and bind him.
- … you don’t want to look like a lonely and unclaimed “blue stocking” in the eyes of your acquaintances.
Consequences. The main result of the lack of self-love in intimate matters is that you force yourself to do what you don’t particularly want to. And this is like forcibly pushing the “necessary” product into yourself: no pleasure, no benefit. It is the lack of self-respect that makes young girls too hasty to give up their virginity. It seems that you will become more mature, more interesting … But in fact, if you approach the first intimacy this way, you usually get disappointed.
However, the decrease in the amount of sex with age for some ladies also occurs precisely because of non-constructive thoughts: “Is it possible to excite men the way I am now?” And not at all from the fact that men are allegedly not attracted to experienced ones. Still how it pulls!
Inflated sexual self-esteem
There are women who are said to be “not at all beautiful”, but men are thrilled in front of them and make a stand. This is how they present themselves. They are self-confident, like Mary Poppins, and they wear any clothes as if they are Cleopatra and Nefertiti in one bottle, and everyone just wants to steal them from her. They are picky, but they know how to present their impregnability as hope that someday… maybe… if you deserve it!
Reasons. Strong and passionate self-love, which is also inflated self-esteem, would seem to be a much better “aphrodisiac” than its opposite. However, it also has side effects, for example …
- … perfectionism: sorting through potential partners in search of the “very-most” suitable, you can get tired of your soul and body no less than clinging to each applicant.
- … obsession with records: diligently demonstrating your divine body, originality and bed skills to the lucky one, you forget about relaxation and enjoyment.
- … bed selfishness: many super-virgins are so accustomed to “deserved delights” that they lie on the sheets like a king and wait to be done well.
Consequences. Well, who can warm the role of the Snow Queen? Except for one time, in the order of a role-playing game … But flirting with it is no longer very healthy. Otherwise, it will be like with Marilyn Monroe – Miss Perfection, who the whole world wanted, and she remained deeply unhappy, looking for unhealthy pleasures and wanting “I don’t know what” …
How to increase sexual self-esteem
If the quality of sex is so tied to self-esteem, I wonder if it is possible to consciously increase it for yourself? Probably, purposefully “working” for this would be as strange as, say, making love just to maintain physical fitness. And yet there are some nuances …
- In order not to “throw on the neck” of not the most attractive partners only from loneliness, it is better to just communicate more. Non-sexual contact reinforces positive self-image. And then sexual ones can be formed from them …
- In principle, “one-time meetings” can also be good. For example, it happens that after a painful breakup, sometimes you can’t move away for a long time, you seem to yourself “wrong”. And here an accidental romantic rendezvous helps to understand: “You shouldn’t put an end to me at all!” It is good if both participants look at the common night in the same way, so that it does not happen that one is “refreshed by sex without consequences”, and the other cherishes long-term plans.
- Don’t try what you hate just to get “cooler”. For example, swing, which self-doubting wives agree to try in order to prove their looseness to themselves and to their sweetheart, has the opposite effect. You begin to think: it turns out that I am no better than the others, he can feel great in bed and on the other … From this, self-esteem only decreases.
Editor’s advice. Do not take compliments as dope. Girls who are used to looking and acting in such a way that all the surrounding male beings admire them tend to become addicted to the next “dose”. Secondly, sometimes it seems to us that we show ourselves as lionesses, but it looks completely different. Let’s say the owner of the deepest neckline is sure that it says: “I’m the most daring and liberated here.” And it reads: “Well, pay attention to me!” So the most sexy quality is perhaps naturalness. After all, we, too, are set on fire not by frightened chickens and not inflated turkeys – but by normal people. Who, in a moment of passion, completely forget about their image! ..
How to unpack your sexuality: advice from a psychologist
If you think sexy is all about a daring miniskirt, a fencing jacket, and gouge-out makeup, you’re wrong! In fact, girls and women often confuse this concept with vulgarity or sex appeal. The secret of sexuality will tell the reality psychologist “From the boy to the lady” Natalia Borisova.
“Sexuality (by definition) is a combination of biological, psychophysiological, mental and emotional reactions, experiences and actions of a person associated with the manifestation and satisfaction of sexual desire,” says the psychologist. – A certain magnetism that makes men stop looking at just such a woman.
What is the secret of sexuality?
“It’s very simple,” says Natalia. – A confident girl who knows her own worth will always be a desirable object of adoration among men and a cause of envy among women. Besides, a sexy body is equally a relaxed body. We do not find sexy people who look like a bundle of nerves.
Every girl is endowed with sexuality from birth, but not everyone knows how to “unpack” their sexuality.
– If you work on yourself, your body, self-esteem, internal state and the ability to enjoy life, then each of us will be able to know our sexuality and become a dizzying dream of men who are ready to throw the whole world at our feet! If we, of course, need it
Editorial Team
